Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
