dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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