I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
