Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
