Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
