I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
