alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize