How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
