I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
