I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize