Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
