Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
