I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you win again, gameday.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
