I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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