We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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