she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
