I bet he comes in French.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
