I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize