I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
