You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
