haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
