just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
