Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize