she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
