I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
