remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
