Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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