Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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