If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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