god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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