he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
