Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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