wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
