i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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