"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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