So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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