Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
