loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
