Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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