i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
