conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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