I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
