All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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