Screwed.edu
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
