my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
