is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
