so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
