genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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