i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
