Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
