VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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