my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she peed on how many people?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
