Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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