He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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