is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
