I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Someone came in the potted fern
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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