im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
