Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
