Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
