If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
