i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
