It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
